psy_marionette (psy_marionette) wrote,
psy_marionette
psy_marionette

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ADD Porn

Ah, the joys of technology...it's actually come to the point where you can have your computer read books for you, thus saving you the trouble of reading them yourself. Instead, it'll just kick out a nice summary for you: it's the AutoSummarize feature of Microsoft Word. It's a pretty nifty tool for cutting to the meat of a work, taking away all those extra words which are oftentimes there to tickle the writer's ego--why do you think my journal posts are ten pages apiece?

AutoSummarize has various settings, ranging from a set percentage of the original work to set lengths of summaries. For this, I chose 100-word summaries, because they're quick and easy. You can just go online and download public domain texts, put them into Word, and get a simple 100 words detailing all about "The Brothers Karamazov," or whatever your fancy.

Well...there's a problem. Usually when you copy and paste from online (at least the sites I found), it doesn't format properly: you get an "enter" between all the line breaks, and so sentences that run over two lines get broken up in the eyes of your computer, which really screws up the summary. Poetry works much better: usually the breaks *are* sentence breaks, so you've got less worry: certainly I'm not going to reformat an entire work of Dostoevsky!

Then THE IDEA struck me: summarize erotic stories! They're short enough that reformatting is a chore instead of an epic battle, and it simply can't help but be awesome to see such a short summary of sex and lust.

The question, of course, is to decide which story to transcribe. Many gay erotic stories suck (pardon the pun). It had to be a good one. I thought about doing "Tommy the Quarterback," which is a very old one, and one which straddles (hehe) the line between "Iconic" and "Cliched." Unfortunately, it's a long multi-part story, so it'd be hard to format it (long and hard--hehe), and the first part wasn't really up to snuff to be chosen. I didn't want to do any stories that had a particular fetish theme, and the science fiction/fantasy seemed like doing too much at once.

I finally settled on another old favorite, the charmingly-titled "Nick the Fratboy" as a good summary to both get and post online--partially because I'm not going to make people squirm too much with the summary (I have no plans on making this one of *those* blogs).  I'm also going to use a LiveJournal Cut, for my first time ever.

This boy was cute.  Nick :)." I caught a good glimpse of his smooth boy chest again.  I snuck my fingers into his waistband, just slightly feeling his cock hair.  The cutest pair of black boxer briefs with white waistband.  The best surprise for me was that his pubic hair was light blonde - just like the hair on his head.  I felt his hands rub on my head and through my hair.  Now Nick was really moaning.  I pulled away and said "thank you Nick."  My sweet frat boy slapped my ass as he walked to the door.

There you go.  Quick porn for the ADD in all of us, even though there's only a sentence or two during the actual sex...

And, of course, I need to give an AutoSummary of this post, so here you go:

AutoSummarize has various settings, ranging from a set percentage of the original work to set lengths of summaries. For this, I chose 100-word summaries, because they're quick and easy. Well...there's a problem. Poetry works much better: usually the breaks *are* sentence breaks, so you've got less worry: certainly I'm not going to reformat an entire work of Dostoevsky!

Then THE IDEA struck me: summarize erotic stories! Many gay erotic stories suck (pardon the pun). This boy was cute.  Nick :)." The cutest pair of black boxer briefs with white waistband.  Now Nick was really moaning. 

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