I turned on late-night television for some braindead time before sleep. And the channel I was on had an infomercial playing. Specifically, the product they were hawking was miracle spring water, so you could call in and order God's anointment. And they'd also send you a letter, promising a miracle on a specific date...I'm uncertain as to whether or not the actual miracle was specified, but certainly the exact date was when one woman won the lottery, and another woman's letter informed her that she would receive a miracle (COD?) the very day her friend awoke from a coma.
I just wonder...are you supposed to drink the miracle spring water? Do you have holy piss afterward? Or is it for anointing, or bathing, or douching...? Or is it like your tonsils, something you're supposed to keep but not actually do anything with?
Finally, if someone goes on vacation and wrongfully entrusts their sacred water with you in the belief that it'll survive their trip, how many years of purgatory do you get for replacing it with tap water? Does a Britta remove a few of those? In fact, how does holiness/miracle property of water interact with filters and purifiers?
I think I need more sleep...